I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize