Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
