Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
