I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
