No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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