mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
how drunk are you?
Several
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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