I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
