He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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