Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
