I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
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