You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize