dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
