dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
