The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The power of my boobs compel you
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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