Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
