doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize