I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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