he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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