this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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