actually, I'm a sock model
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
