you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
