"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Is Oprah even human
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
