I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
