So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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