i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
