I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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