Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Fuck appropriateness.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
