it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
