just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
birth control should be required to get into college
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Randomize