Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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