You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
