Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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