I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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