Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
