What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
