Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Fuck appropriateness.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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