The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
