Your tits are I can't wait for
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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