i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
