Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
