Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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