Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
