well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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