2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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