Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
