I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
