cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
be right there i have to get my cape
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
