Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
