I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
