Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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