I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
