Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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