Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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