Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
