So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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