i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
