Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
