so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
