i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
