I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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