i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
