Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
