I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
