is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
